Last post we saw Man’s expectations in marriage and how it leads to frustration… but what did God have in mind for married people?
(Genesis 2:24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
God has three expectations for a human marriage relationship…
#1) Leaving, mom and dad… this is not forsaking them, nor dishonoring them… it is a restructuring in the relationship….our daughter just got married in July, we can still give input into her decisions, but she no longer is under our authority, her greatest concern now is not what do mom/dad think, but what does her husband think.
There are husbands and wives who may live thousands of miles away from their parents, but have never left them. As a married person, your primary ministry is to your spouse.
#2) Cleaving – this word means to “be stuck together like glue, to adhere one to another”. This has to do with permanency, too many today decide rather than work it out, they will just give it up. That is never a permanent solution… do you realize that statistically, 50% of 1st marriages end in divorce, 60% of 2nd marriages, and it gets worse from there. But I find that in many marriages, especially those that have been married for a while, the relationship has not separated, but has become a test of endurance. The spouces will not separate, but they never achieve God’s purpose, which is “becoming one flesh”
#3) Becoming One Flesh so we may leave, we may even stay together (cleave) with the attitude that we are going to stick it out… But for many we never take it to God’s fullest expectations which is to become one flesh. And that is where God’s best waits for us.
Because becoming one flesh involves Intimacy – and achieving intimacy involves work. Consider these three components to intimacy.
a) Fellowship which is sharing what the Lord is doing in your lives.
b) Companionship – which is not being afraid to spend time together, the implication of this word is two people who are traveling in the same direction…
c) Friendship – your spouse has to be someone you consider your best friend….think about the way we treat our best friend, there is concern for them, there is interest in their lives, there is compassion, there is taking care of them….all of these are rolled up into friendship.
That last part…where God’s best waits for us happens by Communication this is the vehicle that takes us to becoming one flesh.